Sports Day

What has happened to Japan and China, respectfully, to make them have such a different culture now?  Interestingly, I am living among the remains and ruins of the Cultural Revolution.  Now, I am no history buff, but from what I can garner, Chinese culture was violently repressed and all but wiped out during those terrifying years.  Any attempt to educate, expand, or evolve was brutally oppressed by the government.  

How can this not have had a profound effect on the psyche on the people here?  You want no culture?  You got it.  So now what is left?  Of course, since Mao's death there has been a return to capitalist ideals and that has brought with it it's own problems, and it is absolutely no wonder why people behave the way they do here.

We had to work yesterday on a Saturday.  Part of this luxurious job of mine is to often work Saturdays to make up for the vacation time the staff enjoys throughout the year.  So, after a long week of work, I dragged my ass out of bed to get to what I thought was a Sports Day for all the kids.  To my shock and amazement, there were no students in attendance.  Nope this was a TEACHERS SPORTS DAY.  Huh?  

So the deal is, all of the Chinese teachers compete against the Canadian teachers and settle, once and for all, which team is the BEST!  This is a common theme running thorough my experiences with China.  Their massive population, and their past struggles, have made competition fierce.  This is Survival of the Fittest, China style.  Of course being Canadian, and of comfortable means, I have never had to compete for things in the same way that you have to here.  You can definitely see this embedded in the Chinese culture.  

There is an expression called "elbows up" because that is what you have to do in order to get where you want to go.  If you don't push your way through a crowd, you get trampled.  If you don't push your way to the front of the line, you don't get fed.  This idea is in my face every time I step out of the door.  And I see it with the students all the time.  

The cheating in both of the schools I have worked in is rampant.  It has nearly over taken the teachers completely.  There is almost seemingly nothing that can be done to stop the cheating.  It is not cheating in their eyes.  They are helping their friends.  Of course, a Canadian student might argue the same thing, but this is on a massive scale.  I never assign homework because it will just be copied and passed around.  I absolutely have to create at least 3 different versions of every test so that the kids in my first class won't be harassed to give other students the answers.  

I have gone blue in the face stressing the importance of them not behaving in this way in a Canadian school, but it always feels futile.   

The traffic here is a perfect metaphor for the cheating that goes on.  Everyone uses any inch around to get to the next light faster.  I am truly amazed at how numb I have become to the traffic.  I don't even really notice it until someone is standing in the middle of the road and my cabbie is waiting until the last second to whip the car by him or her.  Cars DO NOT stop for pedestrians.  I am in a car, and that means I am bigger than you, so I go first.  

Yesterday this woman was doing to normal frogger-type road crossing and she just looked like a bowling pin to me.  Life is a big game of frogger in China.  Speaking of games, let's get back to them, shall we?

So all of the other teams have clearly been up for hours.  They are washed, pressed, and stretched and have practiced their opening ceremonies routine about 5 times by the time us sorry Canadian sacks roll in.  We have matching shirts and a collective we-don't- want-to-be-here-right-now attitude.  We're set to take on the games!  Sarcasm.  

All of the other teams have matching props and have clearly been working on their dance moves for a month.  We are just standing around looking confused.  Where are the kids?  What is this day about?  When the sign up sheet came around the week before, I freely jotted my name because I thought that it would be about the kids, but now I see that I am signed up for about 5 events that I actually have to compete in.  All the games are in Chinese and nobody knows what any of them are.  

So the opening ceremonies begin and we were apparently supposed to have prepared a dance or a song, or both, to present to all the fans that have come out to see this event.  The stands are full!  Most of the fans are wearing the same shirts as their favourite team and there is one section that all has matching red sequined cowboy hats.  We are told that we have to dance for 2-5 minutes when we are introduced.  WHAT?  Even 2 minutes seems like slow torture when you have nothing prepared, as teachers know all too well.  

The Canadian teachers went up first and we honestly just stood there and awkwardly clapped to a song no one had ever heard before until they realized we had no other moves and turned the music off.  Are you feeling as uncomfortable as I did?  How embarrassing.  Then we move to our place in line and watched all of the other teams present.  All of them had choreographed fan dances, line dances and team cheers to teach the crowd.  We looked like total chumps.        

Then the opening speeches began.  The Chinese like to make everything really official.  Of course, all the speeches are in Chinese and in one speech we catch a little bit of English reminding the participants that there will be "no doping" and to play fair.  Oh good, at least no one will be on dope.  

Then it was time for our speech.  One of our teachers was asked to deliver the speech and he was making jokes about how he had added in a section from “Braveheart” at the end.  We didn't really think he would do it and we couldn't hear him anyways so we were just waiting for him to be finished.  All of a sudden we hear "And they may take our lives, but they'll never take....OURRR FREEEEDOMMMM!!!"  That woke the Canadians up.  Now we're cheering and screaming and jumping up and down at the hilarity and absurdity of our own lives.  It was a great moment.  

So now we're ready to play.  The first event was a relay race and I sprinted for the first time in years.  My ankles almost couldn't take it, but we got second place.  Next up, some balloon race where you run with a balloon between your legs and race.  

Well, the cheating that was witnessed was unbelievable.  People had tied the balloons to themselves, or they were just holding them and running with them.  As a team, we decided: no cheating.  There are students watching and we didn't want to look like hypocrites so we played it straight.  

The balloon run was stopped in the middle because every team had cheated except the Canadians, so we won that one by default.  Then it was time for the Wooden Board and Glove Race and then something I'll call the Red Banner Mouse Wheel race.  They're all kind of hard to explain and I can't even really do it justice.  

In the end we came third, or second.  No one ever really clarified that for us, and the award ceremony was of course in Chinese so...yeah.  All in all, not a terrible way to spend a working Saturday and we were done by noon.  

It showed us all that we do come from a country that places importance on sportsmanship and fair play.  I guess that made us feel good about ourselves at the end of the day.  It's not often you get your own values clarified to you by contrasting it with others.  The pollution cooperated with us also, which was nice.  It was a clear day and I don't feel like I smoked a carton of cigarettes today: all good things.

The Japanese bow may be polite and all, but sometimes you just need a good squeeze.  A good, strong Canadian hug to you.

From China to Japan and Back Again

I have been under the largest pile of marking one can imagine and I emerged from it just in time to take a breath, pack my shit, and fly to Japan.

Okay, I can’t contain it any longer.  Japan.  Aaaahhhhhh.  What an amazing breath of fresh air.  I’ve heard about culture shock before and some might think I would be an expert on it, but I have never experienced anything like this.  Maybe the fact that I was coming from China has something to do with it, and maybe if I had come from Canada it would be different, but I do believe this is the first time in my life I have actually been aghast upon arriving in a new country. 

The first thing I noticed was how clean the streets were; SO CLEAN.  Then I listened…nothing…I see cars, people, more cars…no noise.  It was like instant Zen.  Such a huge contrast coming from a country where people believe that their car horns can speak for them: “I am not stopping!” or “I am driving up beside you!” or “Me first!”  Sometimes I imagine that the cars are saying, “ME, ME, MEEEeeeeeee” because that is how people are in China: everyman for themselves.  In Japan, it feels like everyone has collectively decided to keep the peace, and no one fucks with the serenity.    

The next thing to note is the kindness of the people.  The Japanese have a greeting, that I will not butcher here, that translates to, “please be kind”.  What a beautiful way to begin an interaction!  The bowing and the open displays of respect that I encountered were so calming and appreciated.  I still feel the tranquility of it all.  Even today after I got groceries back in smoggy China, and this woman gave me the most disgusted look I think I may ever have seen I just laughed because she is the one who is ridiculous; not me.   

I never once felt stressed or anxious in Japan.  We saw signs that said, “Please do not rush” and so we didn’t.  There is no stress around the trains, once you know where you’re going, because everyone lines up, and the train won’t leave until everyone is on board.  There is no pushing or shoving or getting your elbows out.  I had to be reminded by my friend to get in line because I am so used to crowding into the front.  If you don’t get in the mix in China, you are the chump who does not get on the train.

I am tall in Japan.  All the little old ladies made me feel 6 feet tall.  On a bus one day in Kyoto, this little bitty of a woman was on a crowded bus and could not reach anything to hold onto.  My friend offered the woman to hold onto her arm, and she did.  She held on the whole way and it was so heartwarming. 

When we got to Osaka, there was a shift in the energy of the place.  Kobe and Kyoto had been serene and peaceful, but Osaka is full tilt.  There are so many people crammed in and we finally got to see the other side of Japan.  My friend is living there teaching yoga and you can see that the place is wearing on her.  Traditional culture feels far away as you walk by the myriad of malls and neon signs.  

Walking past the “escort bridge” was quite an experience.  There are female escorts and male escorts and they are wearing the same amount of make up and skimpy clothes.  Slot machines ring incessantly and you can’t even imagine how much someone would have to pay you to walk into those rooms with endless rows of machines, lights, noise and smoke.  Yes, there is still smoking indoors.  In most places you are not permitted to smoke OUTDOORS, but please, take your cigarette inside where the people are crammed in.  At this point, I remember that I’m still in Asia and some things never change. 

Still, amid the madness there is stillness to be found.  My yoga teacher friends took us to their classes and it was amazing that you can shut all of that out and focus again on the breath.  I think the work they are doing there is so important for those people who are just working their way to death.  

She says that it can be frustrating to teach yoga to the Japanese because they are never bothered.  Or, at least, they never let you know if they are bothered.  They are raised to be perfect, and to be quiet from a young age.  Outward displays of emotion are not common and it may be the reason there is such a high rate of suicide in Japan.  Their bodies are lithe and the physical asana part of yoga comes very easily to them.  However, they treat it as something to achieve and be the best at; like most things.  So, the more subtle components of yoga: the awareness of a collective consciousness and the self, and the energetic shifts which people experience with this practice of Ashtanga are lost on them.  Instead they approach the yoga from a vapid space and miss the incredible gifts that can come out of the practice.    

On the whole I felt like I had a very round experience of Japan.  I marveled at the culture from the moment I arrived to the moment I left and I feel incredibly refreshed.  It was sad to feel it slipping away from me in the customs line at the airport when a Chinese man pushed his way in front of me.  Normally I would ignore him, but we were not back in China yet, so I got out my scolding finger and I said, “Boo hao” (no good!) and he reluctantly let me keep my place in line. 

When I did arrive the spitting was the first thing I heard.  We were still on the plane!  The next 5 people I encountered were rude to me in a way that makes me feel small and hopeless about the future of our world.  It is hard to come back to China after being in Japan.  

Resigned to my address, I set out in China to get ready for the week with my toughest of skin on and something unexpected happened: people were somewhat nice to me.  The begging woman outside of my café was appreciative of my 5 jiao instead of scornful.  The girls at the checkout counter wanted to practice their English and thought I was cute.  My cab driver had his windows down and was singing at the top of his lungs without a care in the world.  It was kind of a fabulous day, even though I had written off Chinese culture as my last choice on this earth.  

I was convinced that the Japanese were the only kind people and that I would dread my dealings otherwise.  I was pleasantly surprised today and so, even though I do not aspire to their cultural beliefs as I do the Japanese, there is kindness too in China.  It was so cool to be able to compare those two countries in that way.

The same way that I came away from India with a slight head bobble I have come away from Japan with a small bow.  I hope to keep it.  It feels good and it is a small way to spread kindness in the world. 

I bow to you, my friend.
Another bow to you, and one more, and okay, last one…one more.

Jackson Five

I feel like the newness of my new city in China has worn off and I’m down to the nitty gritty.  Speaking of gritty, the air is and it is all I can do to try and keep my lungs clean and my nose clear.  We are into a stretch of two working-Saturdays that are the days that we make up for the extra time we have off in the year due to Chinese national holidays.  So, this means for the next two weeks I will have a 6-day workweek.  Fortunately, I am not responsible for teaching all of these days, but we do have midterms, and it is that time of year when it snows indoors and I am buried underneath the snowman sized piles of marking. 

I’m not sure why but I always hear people at this time saying: “Oh, I’m so thankful I’m not an English teacher.”  It gets my goat a bit because being an English teacher can be such a privileged position.  There is a lot of trust involved and I get to know the thoughts and feelings of the students in a more personal way than some other subjects.  Still, it’s always about the marking and that’s really all some people know and comment on.  However, a full course load of English is too much.  I learned this last year the hard way. 

Speaking of Portland, there is a married couple teaching here who met in teaching school at Vancouver Island University in Powell River.  They are pretty cute and the girl is from Portland.  She used to be an English teacher and has since jumped ship to teach Tourism 12, Planning 10 and do some Academic Advising.  I guess I’m a little jealous of her and it is leading me to some other thoughts about teaching. 

I’m not sure that jealous is the right word because she is a very nice person and I really like her funny husband, but it’s just a grass-is-greener type of situation.  She seems to have some things figured out that I don’t feel like I do.  She is with her husband having these amazing experiences away from home.  I am always unsure about my decision to be an educator and I question it constantly.  My boyfriend is considering another deployment that will take him away from me for most of next year.  And she’s blond; I will never be blond.   

Sometimes I think I should just come home to Victoria and get a serving job.  Sometimes I think I just want an out from teaching like, “I couldn’t get a job, so I had to do something else.”  This out is of course a reality for me currently, however there is the Montessori training that I could try and enroll in.  I like the philosophy behind Montessori, but it costs about $7000.  More money sunk into the prospects of getting a job I think I might want.  The other option is that I go back and do some night classes at Uvic in French.  Neither of these two paths can guarantee me any success or security, but they are the narrow options that I am facing.  I was very tired last night when all of these thoughts started to occur to me and I still feel quite tired.  I know that the best thing to do is to push away the negative thoughts and focus on resting and pampering myself today on my one day off.  The answers will come in time and for now I will accept the questions as they are: just questions.  The other fabulous thing I love to focus on is that I have a brilliant man in my life that I am totally in love with.

The other day, I rolled over at 5:30am to Skype W because our time difference is exactly 12 hours right now.  I can usually see him before I go to work and it sets the tone for my day.  On this particularly polluted Thursday I was dreading getting up and having a hard time summoning the energy.  He smiled at me and said: will this help you get up?  He put on The Jackson Five and jumped up out of his seat.  Then he started to dance and air guitar the song!  I tell you, it is moments like those that make me think I really can stick out all of this distance.

It’s sunny today and I will take myself out for a solo walk to get some coffee and veggies for the week.  This will put everything in its right place.

For now, I will focus on the advice that I gave to my students before their exam on friday:

Sit down.

Take a deep breath.

Smile.

Now write.