Finding my bliss. Yes, I am familiar with this concept. It was Joseph Campbell I believe who coined
the phrase and I have used it as a mantra in times when my own faith was
wavering. All my life I have been told
to find what I am passionate about and then find a way to make a living doing
it. A few years ago my dad recanted his
common counselor phrases about passion and bliss and said: “I should have just
told you to find something you’re good at and that makes money. Leave the passion for outside of work”. How depressing. I felt like I had been let down a little
bit. My whole life I had been racking my
brain, beating it up, and feeling inadequate because I didn’t have just one
clear passion that I could run with into financial success and security. This was right about the time I was going
into teaching and I felt like I just had to keep forging ahead even though I
was very unsure about it. The truth is
that what I am passionate about doesn’t make much money. Counter that with the fact that all of the
things I LOVE to do in life can sometimes be expensive.
I find myself at a time in my
life where I’m no longer searching for what is going to make me blissful
everyday. I don’t think that is even
possible and to maintain that level of ecstasy would burn me out in no
time. I am making decisions based more
on what is going to give me some security over the coming years. How is the dental plan? With my teaching situation the way it is, I
feel like I have to take what I can get and that is not a blissful
feeling. However, with Will’s situation,
and him not really knowing where he’ll be, I feel that I have to get a job that
is paying a decent salary, so that if and when he is moved I can go with him
and the Military will pay some of my wages while I am getting set up wherever
we are. So depressingly grown up. But I am not beaten. I will continue to find my bliss on the
weekends and holidays. Cooking,
traveling, singing, yoga, making new friends, keeping old ones, and keeping my
family close! This is where my bliss
lies. I will continue to dream, and
speaking of which, I had a dream last night that my mom was Michael Jackson (oh
dreams, it was her but also him) and I got to sing on stage with her. I woke up feeling like I was right where I
should be. It must mean that it is time
for me to sing in public again…now to find a venue. Oh, who am I kidding? You know I’m just going to hit the streets of
China and sing my heart out. I’m that crazy white girl.
I met this Italian man last night
after we had blindly gone out to dinner to a place that had been recommended to
us. I say blindly because we only had a
Chinese address and a taxi. The
restaurant was Turkish/Chinese and some of the dishes were very good but some
were just drenched in oil and dried peppers.
A technique used here in China to lubricate crap food down your
esophagus. So there were some hit and
misses but it was something new. As we
left the restaurant we walked past the cooks who were bbqing outside in front
of the door on a long range. We did
recognize the fact that they were doing so in the polluted air, but when the
air is so dirty you know it’s everywhere
so you just have to learn to accept it.
One of the things the meal was
missing was a nice glass of red wine that I had been looking forward to. All they had at the restaurant was Chinese
wine and let me reassure you, once is enough with that “stuff”. We had noticed a Wine Tasting Tavern across
the street and started to walk towards it.
As we took another step, the lights went out. Bad timing for us, so we resolved to go home. As we kept walking we noticed an English sign
that said “Bella’s Restaurante”. An
Italian restaurant in China! The kitchen
was on full display and impeccably clean which is very rare here. Usually I just pretend that there is no
kitchen and that sanitary fairies are making my food. The place was nice and we sat down for a nice
glass of wine and tiramisu. My
fave.
One of the chefs was having a
hilarious conversation in Italian on the phone and so we knew this place must
be legitimate. Once I tasted the dessert
I knew I’d be back and so we started to chat up the chef. He had been living in China for 3 years and
he was very surprised that we were Canadian.
He was even more surprised to learn that there is a Canadian High School
in the city. He said that Canada is
doing quite well considering the economic situation in the world. We laughed and said, not really for teachers
as we’re living in China. It made me
wonder about why he was living here and if maybe he was trying to recover some
financial loss or lost opportunities.
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