Sports Day

What has happened to Japan and China, respectfully, to make them have such a different culture now?  Interestingly, I am living among the remains and ruins of the Cultural Revolution.  Now, I am no history buff, but from what I can garner, Chinese culture was violently repressed and all but wiped out during those terrifying years.  Any attempt to educate, expand, or evolve was brutally oppressed by the government.  

How can this not have had a profound effect on the psyche on the people here?  You want no culture?  You got it.  So now what is left?  Of course, since Mao's death there has been a return to capitalist ideals and that has brought with it it's own problems, and it is absolutely no wonder why people behave the way they do here.

We had to work yesterday on a Saturday.  Part of this luxurious job of mine is to often work Saturdays to make up for the vacation time the staff enjoys throughout the year.  So, after a long week of work, I dragged my ass out of bed to get to what I thought was a Sports Day for all the kids.  To my shock and amazement, there were no students in attendance.  Nope this was a TEACHERS SPORTS DAY.  Huh?  

So the deal is, all of the Chinese teachers compete against the Canadian teachers and settle, once and for all, which team is the BEST!  This is a common theme running thorough my experiences with China.  Their massive population, and their past struggles, have made competition fierce.  This is Survival of the Fittest, China style.  Of course being Canadian, and of comfortable means, I have never had to compete for things in the same way that you have to here.  You can definitely see this embedded in the Chinese culture.  

There is an expression called "elbows up" because that is what you have to do in order to get where you want to go.  If you don't push your way through a crowd, you get trampled.  If you don't push your way to the front of the line, you don't get fed.  This idea is in my face every time I step out of the door.  And I see it with the students all the time.  

The cheating in both of the schools I have worked in is rampant.  It has nearly over taken the teachers completely.  There is almost seemingly nothing that can be done to stop the cheating.  It is not cheating in their eyes.  They are helping their friends.  Of course, a Canadian student might argue the same thing, but this is on a massive scale.  I never assign homework because it will just be copied and passed around.  I absolutely have to create at least 3 different versions of every test so that the kids in my first class won't be harassed to give other students the answers.  

I have gone blue in the face stressing the importance of them not behaving in this way in a Canadian school, but it always feels futile.   

The traffic here is a perfect metaphor for the cheating that goes on.  Everyone uses any inch around to get to the next light faster.  I am truly amazed at how numb I have become to the traffic.  I don't even really notice it until someone is standing in the middle of the road and my cabbie is waiting until the last second to whip the car by him or her.  Cars DO NOT stop for pedestrians.  I am in a car, and that means I am bigger than you, so I go first.  

Yesterday this woman was doing to normal frogger-type road crossing and she just looked like a bowling pin to me.  Life is a big game of frogger in China.  Speaking of games, let's get back to them, shall we?

So all of the other teams have clearly been up for hours.  They are washed, pressed, and stretched and have practiced their opening ceremonies routine about 5 times by the time us sorry Canadian sacks roll in.  We have matching shirts and a collective we-don't- want-to-be-here-right-now attitude.  We're set to take on the games!  Sarcasm.  

All of the other teams have matching props and have clearly been working on their dance moves for a month.  We are just standing around looking confused.  Where are the kids?  What is this day about?  When the sign up sheet came around the week before, I freely jotted my name because I thought that it would be about the kids, but now I see that I am signed up for about 5 events that I actually have to compete in.  All the games are in Chinese and nobody knows what any of them are.  

So the opening ceremonies begin and we were apparently supposed to have prepared a dance or a song, or both, to present to all the fans that have come out to see this event.  The stands are full!  Most of the fans are wearing the same shirts as their favourite team and there is one section that all has matching red sequined cowboy hats.  We are told that we have to dance for 2-5 minutes when we are introduced.  WHAT?  Even 2 minutes seems like slow torture when you have nothing prepared, as teachers know all too well.  

The Canadian teachers went up first and we honestly just stood there and awkwardly clapped to a song no one had ever heard before until they realized we had no other moves and turned the music off.  Are you feeling as uncomfortable as I did?  How embarrassing.  Then we move to our place in line and watched all of the other teams present.  All of them had choreographed fan dances, line dances and team cheers to teach the crowd.  We looked like total chumps.        

Then the opening speeches began.  The Chinese like to make everything really official.  Of course, all the speeches are in Chinese and in one speech we catch a little bit of English reminding the participants that there will be "no doping" and to play fair.  Oh good, at least no one will be on dope.  

Then it was time for our speech.  One of our teachers was asked to deliver the speech and he was making jokes about how he had added in a section from “Braveheart” at the end.  We didn't really think he would do it and we couldn't hear him anyways so we were just waiting for him to be finished.  All of a sudden we hear "And they may take our lives, but they'll never take....OURRR FREEEEDOMMMM!!!"  That woke the Canadians up.  Now we're cheering and screaming and jumping up and down at the hilarity and absurdity of our own lives.  It was a great moment.  

So now we're ready to play.  The first event was a relay race and I sprinted for the first time in years.  My ankles almost couldn't take it, but we got second place.  Next up, some balloon race where you run with a balloon between your legs and race.  

Well, the cheating that was witnessed was unbelievable.  People had tied the balloons to themselves, or they were just holding them and running with them.  As a team, we decided: no cheating.  There are students watching and we didn't want to look like hypocrites so we played it straight.  

The balloon run was stopped in the middle because every team had cheated except the Canadians, so we won that one by default.  Then it was time for the Wooden Board and Glove Race and then something I'll call the Red Banner Mouse Wheel race.  They're all kind of hard to explain and I can't even really do it justice.  

In the end we came third, or second.  No one ever really clarified that for us, and the award ceremony was of course in Chinese so...yeah.  All in all, not a terrible way to spend a working Saturday and we were done by noon.  

It showed us all that we do come from a country that places importance on sportsmanship and fair play.  I guess that made us feel good about ourselves at the end of the day.  It's not often you get your own values clarified to you by contrasting it with others.  The pollution cooperated with us also, which was nice.  It was a clear day and I don't feel like I smoked a carton of cigarettes today: all good things.

The Japanese bow may be polite and all, but sometimes you just need a good squeeze.  A good, strong Canadian hug to you.